According to my server management people:

The mysql process is spawning child processes that are pre-loading the databases into ram, and using the memory:

root@host [~]# ps ax | grep mysql | wc -l
40


That means you have 40 mysql child processes running right now.

Basically the memory usage can grow exponentially with the amount of databases running, and their perspective sizes. You may be able to just reconfigure mysql to work better with the configuration that you currently have.
They don't deal with these issues and my partner who does isn't available for a little while. I was just wondering if someone could point towards the right line that needs to be modified or the value that needs configuring. I know a bit so don't be worried to use technical terms

Thanks guys...